5 Weeks

I can't believe our little peanut is 5 weeks old already.  It seems like when I was pregnant time moved so slowly, and now in a blink of an eye weeks have gone by.  Adelaide Sonora Tampier made a speedy entrance into the world on April 2nd at 2:38am.  She weighed 6lb 11oz and measured 20 inches long.  She looks a lot like her brothers, Augustus and Sebastian, and is absolutely perfect.  She is everything I imagined she would be and more.  She has the cutest dimples, her papa's nose, and smiled on her birthday.  We are so lucky to have her, and be her parents. Wishing so hard that her brothers were here to meet her too.

The first few weeks, all she did was eat, sleep and poop.  She pretty much slept all day and night, and I had to constantly wake her up every 3 hours to eat.  She would sleep through any loud sounds and dogs barking.  She hardly cried.  Only a little, and it was more fuss, when her diaper was changed.    She was super chill when she was awake.  Anyone could hold her, for any length of time.  She was always happy.  This past week she has become a new baby.  On her 4 week birthday, she woke up with a nasty diaper rash.  This was by far the worst day of her life so far.  She cried and shed her second tear (her first tear was when she poked herself in the eye!).  Her little hiny was so sore, we felt so bad for her.  She is awake a lot more now, for a couple hours at a time. Then the other day she decided not to go to sleep until 6am, and wake back up at 8am. This made for one sleepy mama.  Even though she turns me into a sleep deprived zombie, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I cherish every moment with her, even when I think I am seeing double, I look at her and it makes it all worthwhile.  I even love it when she cries, to hear her sound, and she looks absolutely adorable.  Sometimes I watch her for a minute before I sooth her - is that bad?  She is just so precious, I can't handle it.

I am looking forward to her next doctors appointment on Friday, and hoping that we can now start taking her out to public places.  We have major cabin fever over here!  We did get out for a stroll around the park yesterday, and enjoyed the beautiful spring weather.  We only made it once around the park before Adelaide had enough and was ready to go home. She doesn't care for her car seat much.  I'm hoping her opinion on that changes soon.

All photos in this post were taken by Tanya Charlesworth Photography.  If you live in NJ and are in need of a family photographer - Tanya is your girl!  She is wonderful and great with the babies!

Doozer Does Shop Coming Soon!

I took up a new hobby when I was in the hospital with the boys - crocheting.  My sister taught me, and it honestly got me through hard days.  I have been crocheting ever since and expanding what I can offer in my etsy shop!  I've been working on a few pieces and will be listing them next week.  Here is a sneak peak of what's to come.

Connie Macogni

Last week was crazy!  I started rehearsals for Tony and Tina's Wedding, and after only 4 rehearsals the show opened. I have never in my career had such little rehearsal time, or such little script.  Most of the show is improve, so its completely different than any show I have ever done.  To say I was nervous was an understatement.  I was nervous about the improve, and nervous about how I would feel wearing a baby belly.  Not knowing what to expect from the audience was exciting but also scary.  You have to be completely prepared with your character's background, and the other characters story and be "on" for 2.5 hours.  I have to say I am completely in love with this show.  It's different every night, depending on the audience, and action is happening all around the room.  Chatting with people is so fun and interesting, most of the time I feel like I am at a real wedding.  The cast is amazingly talented.  They have me cracking up every night, and working to match their talent and energy.  They all feel like family to me already.  It will be sad when the show closes.  I can only hope I get to work with them all again.  If you are in the Bethlehem area, please check out Tony and Tina's Wedding at Musikfest Cafe/ArtsQuest.  It's such a fun show, you won't be disappointed!

Curtain Closed

It's A Wonderful Life was, well WONDERFUL!  We had 6 great performances, with a full house every night.  I'm so happy I was able to be a part of such a great holiday show.  My husband urged me to do the show, as I was hesitant.  I'm so glad I took his advice.  It got me out of the house for a couple of days a week, it gave me something positive to focus on, and helped me find a part of my old self again.  I was able to reunite with talented friends and bring a classic story to life.  I really enjoyed audience members mentioning that the movie was their favorite Christmas movie, and then say they absolutely loved the show.  It was nice to see families enjoying the show together and creating new memories.  If you missed the show, Mr. Potter put this little video together using security camera footage!

We got our tree a couple weeks ago.  Christmas trees are my favorite.  I love the one that we picked and Omelette loves to stand in it.  Yes, stand in it.  She's not doing anything except sticking her head in the middle of the tree and then stands there like a weirdo staring at the trunk.  It results in me sweeping up the needles 2x a day.  At this rate my tree won't make it to Christmas!

Giving Thanks

This year I was in charge of dessert at my moms.  I took the leap, and decided to try and make some pies.   I love to bake, but hate to cook. Pies have always seemed scary to me.  The whole crust and filling situation seemed complicated and delicate. Cakes and brownies, no problem!  I went with apple pie since my husband loves it, and pumpkin which I am a fan of.  The pumpkin pie turned out great. I was so nervous because I got the recipe from this cookbook, and it had a sour cream and sugar mixture added on the top, which I have never seen. Turns out, it is really yummy!  The apple pie was good. However, Michael hates added sugar, and this pie is filled with it.  I was half paying attention when I decided to go with the recipe and as I was making it I was thinking he wouldn't like it.  He did try it, but it was too sweet for him.  My parents liked it. So that made me happy.

The day was as good as it could have been for us.  We spent it with family and good friends, making memories.  We missed our babies, and at times I am still in disbelief that they are gone.  Never did I imagine that they would not be with us this Thanksgiving or Christmas.  We are extremely thankful for each precious moment we had with them.  I'm thankful I got to be a mom.

Here is what our Thanksgiving looked like.

I hope everyone enjoyed every moment they had with their loved ones.

Empty

How our lives can change so fast.  Shortly after my last blog post I found out I was in labor.  After seeing some blood in the toilet, my husband rushed me to the hospital where I found out I was dilated and had bulging membranes.  I was having my babies, and at 22 weeks and 3 days they had no chance of survival.  Babies are not viable until 24 weeks, and we were reminded of that multiple times.  After sitting in the hospital for almost 8 hours fearing for my sons lives, I was transferred to another hospital that had a high level NICU, and if our sons had any chance at life, that would be the best place to save them.  With the help of an amazing team of doctors and nurses, I was able to stay pregnant until 24 weeks. I gave birth to my babies on September 20th, which also happened to be my 4 year wedding anniversary. Augustus Hume was born at 2:06am.  Our little fighter was with us for 3 of the best days of our lives.  His brother, Sebastian Locke, was born at 2:16am, and passed away in our arms shortly after.  There is no answer to why this happened. Preterm labor is common with twin pregnancy.  To say that we are devastated is an understatement.  I think about my babies every second of every day and wish I could have them back.  I run the weeks before this all happened over and over in my head and wonder if there was anything I could have done, any way to alter the course that we traveled.  It doesn't make a difference though. My belly is empty and my babies are not with us.  The support, generosity and kindness people have shown throughout this tragedy has been amazing.  There is nothing anyone can say or do to take away the pain, but we feel very loved and some sweet people have made our days a little brighter.   For now we are just going through the motions of life, trying to do the best we can to deal with our tremendous loss.

I was reading the novel Wild by Cherl Strayed while I was laying on my head in the hospital.  I came across the quote below in one of the last few chapters and it offered some comfort in the darkest hours.


"There's no way to know what makes one thing happen and not another. What leads to what. What destroys what. What causes what to flourish or die or take another course." Cheryl Strayed-Wild

Irritabilty

Well my days off did not go as planed!  I spent 6 hours in the hospital Friday due to the fact that I was feeling some uncomfortable pressure off and on in my lower abdomen and lower back.  It has been happening for a few days, and was becoming more frequent so I decided to call the doctor and see if it was normal.  She asked me to come in and get it checked out to be on the safe side.  They hooked me up to the monitors to check the babies heart rates and also to see if I was having contractions.  The boys heartbeats were good, and it seemed like they were having a party inside they were moving around so much! They eventually took the heart rate monitors off so they could get a better read for contractions.  Turns out after hours of monitoring, exam and a ultrasound, that they are not contractions I am feeling (nor are they Braxton Hicks contractions), but what they call Irritability.  My insides are irritated at me and squeezing.  So I was told to rest, drink lots and lots of fluids, and rest some more.  I had big plans for crib shopping and nursery work, but that will have to be put on hold for now.  Sometimes its nice to be forced to lay down and relax.  It is really hard to do though!  Michael and I went out to breakfast this morning, then made a quick pick up at a yard sale, a stop at the apple store, and then a pick up of some baby items at work.  I WAS sitting 90% of the time, so that counts as resting to me!  For the rest of the day, Cash and I spent it on the couch watching some oldies but goodies flicks.  Besides this irritability it was still a good "weekend" for me.  The irritability hasn't gone away yet, I am hoping it will be gone when I wake up tomorrow.  

I hope your days off are just as relaxing!